American Born Confused Sikh

Karva Chauth Oh my Waheguru. Where do I even begin? History. That's where I will begin. An explanation and then the history of this very interesting Hindu holiday. . . . So first of all, what is it and why do Hindu women celebrate it? From what I understand, back in the day in Northern India, men were often going off to fight in countless numbers of wars and battles. Their wives were left alone at home and they were understandably worried about the lives of their husbands and whether they would return or not. There were no cell phones. No overnight delivery mail. No proper means of communication whatsoever. So, these women would pray for the safety of their husbands. In addition to this, they would fast for the entire day. This tradition has carried on to today and to this very day Hindu women around the world fast so that their husbands may live a long life. For the war issue, I get the praying. But the fasting? Why did they fast? Was it like they were trying to strike a dea...

November 26, 2008, Houston, Texas, U.S.A. A family's home is burglarized. A window is broken. Jewelry and money are missing. The family is confused, scared, and hurt that such a thing could happen to them in their very own home. They call 911 and the police get dispatched. Help was on it's way. However when the police officer arrived, it was not actually help, it was intimidation and interrogation that arrived instead. This robbery happened to a family of Sikhs who had all taken Amrit. This family kept all 5 articles of the Sikh faith including their kirpans. Upon seeing those kirpans, the police officer who arrived at the scene did not ask about the robber or the burglary or anything pertaining to the reason that he was actually called for. He instead pointed a taser at one of the female family member's head and then handcuffed and detained 4 other members of the family. The police officer then called for back up. This family had just been victims of a home invasion ...

Arranged Marriage. One of the oldest traditions in the world. A means to bring people together to unite in holy matrimony. (It's just that there are some holes in some of these matrimonies!) Arranged marriage has had such a negative connotation in my mind and it actually makes me a little upset whenever I hear about it. Why you ask? Because generally speaking, in my opinion, in the past it has been a bit forceful and constrictive. And I don't think it truly matched people on pertinent criteria. Please allow me to explain. . . . . Back in the day, parents would arrange their children's marriage and those children practically had no choice on whom they were marrying and often times they wouldn't even see their spouse until the wedding day! On top of it, they got married so young that they didn't even have themselves figured out let alone a life partner. And maybe this worked back in the day at a time and place when no one questioned anything and when the roles of ...

I've always written about breakups. To be more specific, romantic relationship breakups. Boyfriend and girlfriend breakups. Devastating, heart breaking, and gut wrenching breakups. But, there is another type of breakup that is underestimated yet just as painful if not worse. Friendship Breakups.  Your friends are your main support system. The are the ones that you confide in when your parents are being weird. (And when you are Indian, that's pretty much all of the time!) They are the ones that you see sometimes everyday whether it be at school or work or just to hang out. They are the ones that lift you up when you are down. They are the ones that actually like you and love you for all of the craziness and quirkiness that you are. They are the ones that you picked because you see a little bit of yourself in them. They are an extension of you.  So, when one or more of these friendships end, it doesn't just affect your heart. It affects your soul. Why and h...

I almost don't have the right to write about this. Believe it not, even though I'm a brown woman,  an Indian woman, and a Sikh woman, by the Grace of God I've actually never experienced racism. Curiosity yes. People have always been interested in what I am and where I come from. People have mistaken me to be hispanic and Arab and Persian. I've been mistaken to be from the country of Jordan twice! But I've never been treated badly for it. No one has ever called me any mean names. I've gotten stares but probably for different reasons. I've had people come up to me and start speaking Spanish. "Uhmmm un poquito, sorry!" Once a guy yelled out to me and called me habibi. I was thrown off. But then I looked up this word and it means love in Arabic. Awww. How can I get mad at that? LOL  I've always been appreciated as an exotic Indian woman by all races. And I've always taken all of it in with all of it's glory. Free coffees for me?! Sure! S...

"Oh wow, you have beautiful hair! But you know what? You should tie it up so that you don't get any nazar!" "Oh, you're in a relationship/getting engaged/married?! Make sure you don't post anything on social media so that you don't get any nazar!" "Oh, today is your wedding day? Please let me apply some black kohl/kajal/eyeliner to your eyes and behind your ear so that you don't get any nazar!" "Oh, new baby!? Let's put some of that same kohl/kajal/eyeliner to the babies eyes EVERYDAY so that the baby doesn't get nazar!" WTF?!?! Why are we spending our whole lives (literally from the day we are born to now) trying to avoid nazar? Growing up in the Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Desi community I have always heard of the word Nazar and all of the things that we should do and not do in order to avoid it. What is nazar you ask? I believe the literal meaning of nazar is glance or attention (Fun fact. It's act...