American Born Confused Sikh

Hello! I'm the sister. I really loved the last post on here and my sister's words really ignited some thoughts of my own, so I thought I'd go ahead and give my half of our two cents on the topic. Enjoy!  So, kaam.  A few things on my mind- Yes we should wait for that all star employee, but what if we think we've found him, like we really truly truly believe it, and then it's years later and we find ourselves single again. What if we did wait? We did evaluate? We do have our self respect and we certainly just Know that, yeah, this guy is the real deal. What do we do then?  I have had many friends who are not virgins but not the promiscuous kind. They stayed away from all that but then one night... And then I heard all about the shift in values. "Well it felt right and I don't regret it" "I love him and I know he loves me" "we're heading towards marriage anyways". And as their friend who really does Know,...

Sex. We don't talk about it at home with our parents. We for damn sure don't talk about it at Gurudwara. So, I'm gonna talk about it now. No, this is not a lesson on the birds and the bees. Most of us have already been stung by bees! This has been on my mind for a while. Again, this one is for my ladies. Particularly, my younger female audience that is in high school and college. When it comes to sex, I'd like to get on my knees again, fold my hands again, and beg you to do one thing for me and more importantly yourself. . . . . WWWWWAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! Yes, wait! How long you ask? Until you are married? Until you are engaged? Until he says "I love you"? Until the 6th month mark? Until the 3 month mark? Until the 3rd date? Or lord have mercy, until the end of the first date?! Before I even attempt to answer that, please picture something with me for a minute. Ladies, let's say you are walking to sch...

So, everyone is still wondering. Am I still with him? Nope. In fact, shortly after the first incident, he said something very similar to me again and I finally came to the realization. . . he's not gonna change. Can he change? Can anyone change? Of course they can! But, in my opinion three very important things have to happen first: #1. He has to want to change - You can talk to him. Your friends can talk to him. Your parents can talk to him. His parents can talk to him (although they are probably the reason that he's like that in the first place.) >:(  If he doesn't think he is wrong and if it is not coming from his own heart, even President Obama could talk to him and HE STILL WON'T CHANGE! #2. He has to put in effort to change. He has to change his surrounding, his environment, his friends, and yes even his family. He has to change the energy that surrounds him and he has to change the energy within himself. He has to connect to God some how. . some way. ...