Maternity and Baby Care in the U.S. vs. the UK

Dear Future Navi (and any other future kids I may have),

As you already know, mommy isn't from here. Mommy is from the United States of America! It's why I pronounce several words differently from you. It's why I make delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that none of your friends probably eat. It's also why I currently can't drive in this country! (Although hopefully by the time you read this I will have finally mastered those tricky roundabouts and I'll be driving us around everywhere!) 

Some say that the U.S.A. is the best country in the world! But as of today in October of 2023, when it comes to having babies and maternity care, it might actually be one of the worst countries in the world. To start out with, to have a baby in the UK is free! It's all covered under the NHS. So no matter what, whether you have a vaginal delivery or a c-section, no matter how many days you stayed in the hospital, no matter how much toast and tea you have, it's free!  (Well, it's technically not free as NHS fees come out of our paycheck, but you know what I mean!) You don't get any extra surprise bills that show up at your home weeks later! 

However, in the U.S., you'd better have good insurance. And even if you do, you may still end up paying thousands of dollars. The average out of pocket expense to have a baby over there is around $3,500 which is absolutely insane. That covers new nursery furniture, a new stroller (or pram), bedside sleeper, clothes, bottles, sterilizers, and everything you actually need for a baby! Some insurance companies are really good and they cover everything but the majority of them just aren't that good. 

Once a baby is born in the UK, nurses and health visitors will visit the house the day after the baby comes home to make sure that everything is okay! They come to the house! I know right!!! They check the baby's weight and they check on how breast feeding is going and the mother's health and just everything in general. (When you have a c-section, this is very much appreciated!) When you were born, I was struggling to breastfeed so a nurse was coming over every day for the first week. Later on, when you had colic, a nurse even came over to show me how to give you anti-colic massages. That's just unheard of in the U.S.! Over there, you have to go to the doctor after a week or so. But so much can happen in a week. I can't even fathom it. 

Another perk is that here in Scotland, we get a baby box full of goodies for every baby born. It's this huge box with a baby mattress and sheet, baby clothes, thermometer, a blanket, a towel, muslin clothes and just so much stuff. It's so nice! They don't do that in the U.S. either! (Actually, I don't even think they do that in England.) So major props to Scotland.

Lastly and most importantly, OMG - Time off from work. Over here in the UK, mother's are guaranteed 1 year off from work with statutory pay (which is 90% of your pay for the first 6 weeks and then for the remainder of the year around £700/ month). However, most companies offer full pay for the first several months and then half pay for a few more months and then statutory pay for the last 6 months. I myself took 6 months plus all of my vacation days and I had about 7 months with you and it was such a blessing. During those early days, you would nap on me for 3 hours straight in the middle of the day. If I tried to put you down, you'd wake up, so I just let you sleep on me. I cherished that time so much and I wouldn't have gotten to do that in America. In the U.S. guess how much time is guaranteed for women to take off once they have a child. Take a guess. Any guess. Six months? Nope. Three months? Nope. One month? Still no! One week? One day? No and No! The US doesn't guarantee any days off for women who just had a baby!!!!! It all comes down to your employer. And if you have a nice employer, you'll get some paid time off. But if you don't you're screwed. It's crazy because your Maasi in America had your cousin 2 months after you were born but she had to go to work months before me! 

I almost forgot: Daycare! So right now, 3 year olds get 30 hours of free daycare per week. I know right!!! And, both the English and Scottish governments have made announcements that they will be dropping this age to 9months and above. As of right now, if a child is under 3, they get 20% off of their daycare, which is still helpful. The UK actually lags behind the rest of Europe in this matter but I believe they are still far ahead of the US. It just makes it that much easier for women to go back to work.

When you were a little over a year old, we took you on your first trip to the United States and there were a few things that I noticed over there that left me a little thrown off. Well, before we even landed on the plane, I asked the flight attendant for some milk for you and he said no - that they only have enough milk for teas and coffees. He was an American. I was very surprised but luckily we bought and packed toddler milk from the local UK grocery stores so you were okay. While we were in the states we couldn't find toddler milk. They had these weird nutritional shakes and the packaging talked about more of what it didn't have in it in lieu of what it did have. In fact, most food products in America say "free from preservatives, free from artificial flavors, free from this free from that" but the products in the UK don't have to say that because they just don't have the crappy stuff in them! On the way back to the UK we gave you milk right before take off but we only had one toddler milk carton left for the return trip. I asked the flight attendant again for milk for you and this time she was British and this time she said yes! No issues, no problems. 

When we went to the States, the country was still recovering from a formula shortage which I find to be appalling. It took the country months and months to rebuild their stock and ship in some more formula from other countries. When we went there we were shocked to see that the same formula that we used for you which was about £11 per carton was selling for over $30 in the states. Not only that, diapers and all other supplies were crazy expensive over there. Anddddd there was no parent/baby parking at any of the stores! I never noticed this before in all of the years that I lived there because I never had to notice it. But, the UK actually spoiled me a bit because there is always parent/baby parking in the front of stores over here! 

Okay, rant kind of over. I just had to compare the two countries because till today people often ask me if I miss the US and if I'd ever move back. And of course I miss it (and maybe I can convince your father to retire over there but I highly doubt it!), but I am incredibly thankful to have had you here in the UK. I love the perks. I love the safety. I love the strict and tight gun control. And I love the free tuition at Scottish Universities that I hope will still be in existence by the time you go to "UNI" LOL. 

Don't get me wrong. America has great perks - nice spacious roads, cars, and houses with lovely walk in closets! Jalepeno Cheetos and chewy chips ahoy cookies! And sale after sale after sale at Bath and Body works! They just have the potential to do so much better when it comes to these issues and I hope that by the time you read this, they do indeed get better. . . . . 

But if not, just have your babies in the UK, okay? Okay!

Love, 

Mom :)