Shaadi.com
Shaadi.com.
I know. These words also make me cringe!
Gosh, where do I even begin on this topic? I think it's safe to say that most of us who have been on this website have a love/hate relationship with it. (Mostly hate though)
For my non-Indian readers, shaadi.com is the Indian version of match.com, eharmony.com, etc., etc. . . .
However, the word shaadi literally means marriage. See how much pressure there is already!!!???
And because it is an Indian website, the categories and criteria include stupid stuff like caste and skin tone. Yes, you read that correctly: skin tone! The categories for skin tone on this website are very fair, fair, wheatish, and dark. What is the difference between very fair and fair? Why are there two categories for fair? And what the heck is wheatish? Is that like wheat bread? Honey wheat or whole grain???
The website consists of paid/not paid, pictured/notpictured, Indian members from every corner of the planet. Actually, correction. There are also non-Indians on there who would like to end up with an Indian. . .Why? I'm not so sure. . . lol j/k :P
I'm not sure exactly what the male experience is on this website, so I will only speak on the woman's behalf. This will be a brief summary of what myself and my girlfriends have experienced in the past few years. When a female makes a profile on this website, it generally goes like this. . . .
1. The first few days, she is flooded with requests from all over the world! Self Esteem shoots through the roof! ;)
2. She then realizes that the majority of those requests are guys who are trying to get a green card or easy entry into her country. (Especially if that country is America) Self esteem plummets. :(
3. She then also realizes that the majority of those guys are also looking for easy entry into something else. . . . . >:(
Alas, once she filters out all of the creeps and foreigners (no offense to the nice sincere foreigners who sincerely want to get married) she is left with this. . . . .
A. Guys with whom she is interested in and accepts their requests. But never hears anything after that.
B. Guys with whom she is interested in that she sends a request to. But never hears anything back.
C. Any combination of A & B in which a few messages are exchanged on the website. But then never hears anything back.
D. Any combination of A & B in which phone numbers are exchanged and text messages are exchanged. But then never hears anything back.
Do you see where I'm going with this???
Parents, please lighten up on us. It's exhausting out there. . . . . . !
Oh I forgot. Letter E. She exchange messages, phone numbers, text messages, phone calls, and then she meets the love of her life and gets married! It does happen! It has happened! And it is happening to some of my friends actually! Letter E is for the patient ones, the lucky ones, and the ones that give every brand new guy a clean, new, fair chance. ;)
I had actually once been on this website several years ago and I rejected anyone who didn't wear a turban and keep a full grown mustache and beard. (That led to an experience which I'm currently writing a novel about. lol) I decided to try once again now that I released that requirement as painful as it was. I made a profile. I checked off wheatish and I tried to stay "open-minded." I went through the filtration process which I actually turned into an amusing game. My friends and I would look at the pictures of all of the guys who sent me a request and play guess who's a citizen, green card holder, or visa holder. It was so much fun. :). (Again, no disrespect to them!)
Side tangent and clarification for my Indian friends who weren't born in the states and who aren't citizens: A lot of you are actually my friends! Great friends, in fact. Actually, some of my best friends in the world are those that weren't born in America. The difficult thing about any online marriage/dating system is that your looking at a picture and a couple of random facts that may or may not be true. Whereas, when you meet someone face to face, when you spend time with them, you then come to know their intentions.
For a long time, I was looking for a husband. As, I got older, I realized that it was more than just a husband that I'm looking for. . . . it was a soul mate and a best friend. . . . that type of relationship can only develop in person and the online system is just an easy and fast avenue of meeting people.
And so, I was trying to be open on religion but I guess I might have been closed on immigrant status. In the past, I think I did the opposite. Life always needs to be balanced, isn't it?! Anyways, here's the funny thing. . . I told myself that I was going to be open. But, one of the first guys to have sent me a request was one of the first guys that I found most attractive and who's description caught my interest. Yes, he was a Punjabi Sikh. I know. . . I know....!
He was born and raised in Canada. He had a great smile and a great personality from whatever I could see online.
I clicked on accept. . . .
I know. These words also make me cringe!
Gosh, where do I even begin on this topic? I think it's safe to say that most of us who have been on this website have a love/hate relationship with it. (Mostly hate though)
For my non-Indian readers, shaadi.com is the Indian version of match.com, eharmony.com, etc., etc. . . .
However, the word shaadi literally means marriage. See how much pressure there is already!!!???
And because it is an Indian website, the categories and criteria include stupid stuff like caste and skin tone. Yes, you read that correctly: skin tone! The categories for skin tone on this website are very fair, fair, wheatish, and dark. What is the difference between very fair and fair? Why are there two categories for fair? And what the heck is wheatish? Is that like wheat bread? Honey wheat or whole grain???
The website consists of paid/not paid, pictured/notpictured, Indian members from every corner of the planet. Actually, correction. There are also non-Indians on there who would like to end up with an Indian. . .Why? I'm not so sure. . . lol j/k :P
I'm not sure exactly what the male experience is on this website, so I will only speak on the woman's behalf. This will be a brief summary of what myself and my girlfriends have experienced in the past few years. When a female makes a profile on this website, it generally goes like this. . . .
1. The first few days, she is flooded with requests from all over the world! Self Esteem shoots through the roof! ;)
2. She then realizes that the majority of those requests are guys who are trying to get a green card or easy entry into her country. (Especially if that country is America) Self esteem plummets. :(
3. She then also realizes that the majority of those guys are also looking for easy entry into something else. . . . . >:(
Alas, once she filters out all of the creeps and foreigners (no offense to the nice sincere foreigners who sincerely want to get married) she is left with this. . . . .
A. Guys with whom she is interested in and accepts their requests. But never hears anything after that.
B. Guys with whom she is interested in that she sends a request to. But never hears anything back.
C. Any combination of A & B in which a few messages are exchanged on the website. But then never hears anything back.
D. Any combination of A & B in which phone numbers are exchanged and text messages are exchanged. But then never hears anything back.
Do you see where I'm going with this???
Parents, please lighten up on us. It's exhausting out there. . . . . . !
Oh I forgot. Letter E. She exchange messages, phone numbers, text messages, phone calls, and then she meets the love of her life and gets married! It does happen! It has happened! And it is happening to some of my friends actually! Letter E is for the patient ones, the lucky ones, and the ones that give every brand new guy a clean, new, fair chance. ;)
I had actually once been on this website several years ago and I rejected anyone who didn't wear a turban and keep a full grown mustache and beard. (That led to an experience which I'm currently writing a novel about. lol) I decided to try once again now that I released that requirement as painful as it was. I made a profile. I checked off wheatish and I tried to stay "open-minded." I went through the filtration process which I actually turned into an amusing game. My friends and I would look at the pictures of all of the guys who sent me a request and play guess who's a citizen, green card holder, or visa holder. It was so much fun. :). (Again, no disrespect to them!)
Side tangent and clarification for my Indian friends who weren't born in the states and who aren't citizens: A lot of you are actually my friends! Great friends, in fact. Actually, some of my best friends in the world are those that weren't born in America. The difficult thing about any online marriage/dating system is that your looking at a picture and a couple of random facts that may or may not be true. Whereas, when you meet someone face to face, when you spend time with them, you then come to know their intentions.
For a long time, I was looking for a husband. As, I got older, I realized that it was more than just a husband that I'm looking for. . . . it was a soul mate and a best friend. . . . that type of relationship can only develop in person and the online system is just an easy and fast avenue of meeting people.
And so, I was trying to be open on religion but I guess I might have been closed on immigrant status. In the past, I think I did the opposite. Life always needs to be balanced, isn't it?! Anyways, here's the funny thing. . . I told myself that I was going to be open. But, one of the first guys to have sent me a request was one of the first guys that I found most attractive and who's description caught my interest. Yes, he was a Punjabi Sikh. I know. . . I know....!
He was born and raised in Canada. He had a great smile and a great personality from whatever I could see online.
I clicked on accept. . . .
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