My Big, Fat, Indian Pregnancy!

My Dear Navi,

One of the greatest lessons I want to teach you is to not give an F* about what people think about what you say, what you do, and most importantly how you look. 

As life goes on and constantly changes, so will your appearance, your outlook on fashion, your makeup preferences and your weight. By all means, I hope that in the future you are still eating and loving all of your veggies (especially when I put them into a yummy tomato pasta!) and all of your fruits. I hope you are still loving the outdoors and that you take walks, and jogs, and exercise so that you can live your best and healthiest and most fulfilling life. 

But please know that your weight might fluctuate time and time again and it's not a big deal! When I was in college, I worked retail and I was on my feet 24/7. I was pretty skinny. But then when I graduated I got a sit down office job and I went out to eat a lot with my friends and I gained quite a bit of weight. (But I do not regret that time spent with my friends at all!) Then later on I got a dog and he walked me (yes, He walked me LOL) 5 miles a day and I lost the weight again! Then I traveled for a year, got married, and got pregnant. . . . . 

Your father has loved me throughout all of the fluctuations that I've gone through with him and I want nothing less for you. If you are ever dating a guy who makes any comments or remarks about your weight or appearance, it's time to let him go! 

I always knew that society made women feel like they were supposed to look a certain way in normal circumstances. But what I was shocked to find out was that society also made women feel like they were supposed to look a certain way even when pregnant. Even when pregnant! WTF?! That's like the one time where it's supposed to be acceptable to be "fat" and indulge! 

My Dear Navi, when I was pregnant with you, you were growing beautifully and healthily (is that a word?) inside me. You were in the 90th percentile and maybe that's because I craved a lot of cheese and eggs. But, the doctors were never concerned. The only thing that they made me do was take a gestational diabetes test. But it was only for the sheer fact that I was Indian. I had no other contributing factors or symptoms. 

"Oh no, but my parents are Indian, I was actually born and raised in America." I told the doctor.

"It doesn't matter. If you are of Indian or African descent you have to take this test." She said. 

Uhmmmmm, isn't that racist??? It turns out, these groups just have the highest rates of not only gestational diabetes but diabetes in general. Must be the all of the mithai! 

So, I had to fast the night before in preparation for this test. And that's hard to do for a pregnant woman! The next morning I took it and luckily I didn't have it. Yay! I could continue to eat sweets! Although I tried to keep that to a minimum. I also hardly drank tea or coffee. I was just a little paranoid and I didn't want anything to interfere with your development. You were and are my rainbow baby. :) 

When I reached the third trimester, I had rounded out quite nicely. But that's when the comments started coming in . . . . . .

"How many are you having?" 

"Geez, you got twins in there?" 

"Oh wow, you're ready to pop, aren't you?"

Nothing infuriated me more than these stupid comments. I wasn't exactly skinny when I got pregnant because I had gained a bit of weight during covid. But I was not prepared for all of this. Perhaps, it was because I was hormonal, but I avoided seeing people who made these comments at all costs. The third trimester is HARD. Emotionally, physically, and hormonally! 

There is so much to think about and worry about and prepare for while pregnant. After all, we are creating an entirely new human being from scratch! After everything I went through while trying to get pregnant and when I actually was pregnant, I've come to realize that every baby born is truly a miracle. You know those lines from Gurbani that are tattooed on my arm? They come from this shabad: 

ਮਃ ੧ ॥ First Mehl: ਭੰਡਿ ਜੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਨਿੰਮੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਮੰਗਣੁ ਵੀਆਹੁ ॥ From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married. ਭੰਡੁ ਮੁਆ ਭੰਡੁ ਭਾਲੀਐ ਭੰਡਿ ਹੋਵੈ ਬੰਧਾਨੁ ॥ When his woman dies, he seeks another woman; to woman he is bound. ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਦੋਸਤੀ ਭੰਡਹੁ ਚਲੈ ਰਾਹੁ ॥ Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come. ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮੰਦਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿਤੁ ਜੰਮਹਿ ਰਾਜਾਨ ॥ So why call her bad? From her, kings are born. ਭੰਡਹੁ ਹੀ ਭੰਡੁ ਊਪਜੈ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਝੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥ From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all. ਨਾਨਕ ਭੰਡੈ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਏਕੋ ਸਚਾ ਸੋਇ ॥ O Nanak, only the True Lord is without a woman. ਜਿਤੁ ਮੁਖਿ ਸਦਾ ਸਾਲਾਹੀਐ ਭਾਗਾ ਰਤੀ ਚਾਰਿ ॥ That mouth which praises the Lord continually is blessed and beautiful. ਨਾਨਕ ਤੇ ਮੁਖ ਊਜਲੇ ਤਿਤੁ ਸਚੈ ਦਰਬਾਰਿ ॥੨॥ O Nanak, those faces shall be radiant in the Court of the True Lord. ||2||

My Dear Navi, you will come to find that this world is not always kind to women. In fact, as I'm writing this in the year 2022, many horrible men in power still try to control and regulate and judge and criticize and change our bodies. But over 500 years ago, our Gurus knew what our worth was and so must you. I hope that if and when you decide to have a child and become pregnant, that when your time comes, the world will be a lot kinder than what it is today. And if it isn't kinder, than remember what I said: Don't give a F*! You do you boo! 

Love, 

Mom :)