What my parents never told me . . .

 Dear Future Navi (and any other future children I may have),

This is going to be a tough blog but it will be one of the most important ones for you and for myself (mainly to keep myself accountable when the time comes!) But I want you to know that I am going to love you no matter what you do in life, no matter what you decide, no matter how you live your life. Please allow me to explain further. . . . 

My generation received a lot of conditions from our parents. We were told to get married and have kids by a certain time. We were told what school, college, or university to go to. What degree to get and what profession to go into. We were told to focus purely on money when it comes to our career and even our future partner. We were told what we could and couldn't do in life in general and it kind of sucked. (I do forgive our prior generations though as most of them were immigrants living in survival mode.) But I don't want to pass all of that on to you. So, here is what I have to say. . . . 

1. Once you graduate from high school, yes, I would love for you to go to a good university. (Especially if tuition is still free in Scotland and especially since the University of Glasgow looks like Hogwarts!) Getting a degree is a great qualification in life that can certainly help with your career. Not only that, the life experiences and the friends that you make during your college years are priceless. But many people succeed without degrees. So, while I do prefer that you get your degree, if you don't, I will still love you.

2. Career. As mentioned in a previous blog. The most important thing I want for you here to is always be financially independent. Whether you are single or in a relationship or married. You can choose whatever career you want (as long as you aren't a stripper!). As long as you are earning money by an honest and decent means. Believe it or not, your Nana actually supported your Masi when she wanted to pursue the arts. He just wanted her to make good money and she's a graphic designer now so check! (She's now his favorite!) But, I want you to know that no matter what career you choose, no matter how much money or how little money you make, no matter what you do, I will still love you. 

3. Marriage and kids. Lord! Okay, this is what I want you to know about it. Not everyone has to be married and/or kids to have a full life! Everyone has a different destiny. Everyone has a different plan. Do not ever feel obligated to marry a specific person by a specific age and or have kids by a certain age either. Yes, it will be easier to have kids younger - it's easier to conceive and it's easier to keep up with them because you have more energy when you are younger. BUT, everyone has a different destiny and above all, if you do decide to get married, I want you to marry for love and companionship. I want you to marry someone who loves you and most of all respects you throughout your lifetime. Sometimes you find that person in your 20's. I found that person in my 30's! No matter what you decide to do in this area or when you decide to do it, I will still love you.  

(P.S. In India, I've noticed that they want you to get married by age 25. But honestly, I think 25 should be the minimum! I'll explain more later.)

3. Religion. Waheguru! As you know, you were born into a Sikh family. Your ancestors sacrificed ALOT for Sikhi. Your great grandparents sacrificed a lot for Sikhi (especially during India's partition). Your grandparents and parents sacrificed a lot for Sikhi. (I will tell you all of the stories when you are ready!) But, I don't want you to choose Sikhi just because we all did. I want you to choose Sikhi because you want to. Yes, it would absolutely break my heart if you went somewhere else, but at the end of the day, I will still love you. And no matter what, always know that even though me and your Dad are your biological parents, you are the daughter of Guru Gobind Singh and all of the Gurus. 💖

4. I don't care what anyone says, If you ever identify with being LGBTQIA+, I WILL STILL LOVE YOU. 

5. Miscellaneous things: basically, as long as you do not harm yourself or harm others, emotionally or physically, I will always support you. I want you to be careful! Choose your friends wisely. I hope this doesn't happen, but there might come a time when you listen to your friends more than me and your Dad and sometimes friends can hurt and harm the most. 

Please don't drink, or smoke, or do drugs, or get botox, or lip fillers, or lipo - you don't need to do any of that, you are so beautiful! All of these things harm our body and/or mind in one way or another. 

I'll just make one tiny exception to the do not harm yourself rule: tattoos! Both me and your father have tattoos so it would really be unfair if we told you that you can't get any. However, if you do decide to get one, I would also say, wait until you are at least 25 years old. With mostly all minor and major life decisions, I'd like for you to wait until 25 because you're brain will fully be developed by then. Also, you will change SO MUCH from the time that you are a teenager to age 25. Trust me! 

I got my tattoo and I married your Dad in my early thirties and I have no regrets! In your 20's, you're still figuring yourself out and you are still trying to figure the world out. 

Which leads me to my last point. . . .

6. For the love of God, please, please, please do not ever become a Republican or a Tory! If you do, yes of course we will still love you, but mommy and daddy will be VERY disappointed!!!! 

Okay, that's all for now. I'm sure there's loads more but I had to get some of the big stuff out of the way. I'm sure I may get some backlash for these as well but that's okay. The rest of the world didn't give birth to you, I did! 

Love,

Mom :)