American Born Confused Sikh

Today is her birthday. She turns 31. And instead of celebrating and laughing and smiling, today she is crying. Do you want to know why? Take a guess. She is 31 and single. And when you are a brown girl that has crossed over to her 30's without a husband or fiancé, your birthdays are filled with dread and despair and constant reminders of your single status. Now, I know that every community and race and religion faces this, but once again I feel like in our community it’s taken to a whole new level. A level of unworthiness and loss of self esteem. A psychologically and mentally training level. It’s Disgusting. I experienced it. I lived through it. And now, I continue to see it. And it infuriates me. This will probably be one of my biggest rants because this is a topic that is very personal to me. I am normally very upset with India and our prior generations and all of our Aunties and Uncles. But today, I am also upset, hurt, angered, and severely disappointed in our current genera...

So, I’ve been blogging for a while now. A couple years actually. The name of my blog is called American Born Confused Sikh. And in all of these years, I have never been more confused on a topic. It has never taken me so incredibly long to write about something. (I normally write it out in one sitting!)   But this one has been on my mind for a while. I’ve been trying to write this one for WEEKS! And honestly I still don’t have a crystal clear stance on it. Cyber sangat ji, I think your opinions are going to vary from where you are situated at in the world, from your past experiences, and whether you are male or female. This is a highly sensitive topic so as always please read it with a grain of salt. I’m not an expert on anything and I’ll never claim to be. But I will say this: I do represent the opinions of a lot of Sikh American woman. And it becomes more and more apparent the more I write and share and with all of the feedback that I get. As with all of my writing, ...

Am I on my period? It's 3am. I just woke up from a deep sleep. Did I have a bad dream? Nope. Worse. I pull off my covers and I look down to see a huge blood stain on my pajama bottoms. Yikes! I get so mad at myself because I forgot to wear an overnight pad. I just wore a regular pad. I was even prepared this month! I had the pads ready to go at home! I move over a bit and alas, I stained the sheets too! I am mortified and I am embarrassed!!! But,  I am extremely lucky and blessed. I quickly change into a clean pair of underwear and a clean pair of pajama bottoms and I quickly change my pad (an overnight one this time!!!). I am able to change and wash everything that got stained without anyone even noticing. I used to take these things for granted. I used to think it was such a hassle and an inconvenience, but what I just went through was a luxury. Wearing a pad is a luxury (especially an overnight one with wings!). Having clean pairs of underwear and clothes and pajamas is a lu...

Weddings.  What is the first thing you think of? White dress? Alter? Church?  Indian Weddings. What is the first thing you think of? Red dress? Bollywood music? Elephants?  Punjabi weddings? Alcohol. Yup, that's what I thought. SMH (Shaking my head) Anand Karaj.  Bliss, peace, harmony, 1 soul - two bodies, Guru, Gurudwara, hukam, lavaan. Waheguru! Sikh wedding - What do you think of?  Is it an Anand Karaj? Is it a Punjabi Wedding? Is it an Indian Wedding? Is it all of the above?  Is it spending ridiculous amounts of money?  In 2014, Fortune published this: " The average American wedding costs $29,000 and has 140 guests, according to TheKnot.com. The average cost of an Indian wedding in the U.S. is $65,000 with 500 guests."  I think they were mistaken because further down in that same article I read this. . . . ". . . a wedding planner who does high-end events, pegs the average cost at $200,000. A typical Indian weddin...