Kaam . . . .

Sex.

We don't talk about it at home with our parents. We for damn sure don't talk about it at Gurudwara. So, I'm gonna talk about it now. No, this is not a lesson on the birds and the bees. Most of us have already been stung by bees! This has been on my mind for a while. Again, this one is for my ladies. Particularly, my younger female audience that is in high school and college. When it comes to sex, I'd like to get on my knees again, fold my hands again, and beg you to do one thing for me and more importantly yourself. . . . .

WWWWWAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

Yes, wait! How long you ask? Until you are married? Until you are engaged? Until he says "I love you"? Until the 6th month mark? Until the 3 month mark? Until the 3rd date? Or lord have mercy, until the end of the first date?!

Before I even attempt to answer that, please picture something with me for a minute. Ladies, let's say you are walking to school or something and on the sidewalk right in front of you, you find a $100 bill. Let's say that no one is around and you get to claim it as yours now. What is the first thing that comes to our mind? Macy's! Forever 21! H&M!  Kylie Jenner's new lip kit!!! That $100 will be out of your hands and out of your mind within 24 hours. . . maybe even 24 minutes!

Now, let's say you get your first job ever working at a fast food restaurant or at the mall or whatever. Let's say you work 40-50 hours that first week and it was tiring and it was stressful, but at the end of that week, you earn your first paycheck of $100! Yes, you might still spend it. But if you do, it might be something more meaningful so that you can always look back and say, "I bought this item with my first paycheck!" Heck, you might not even cash it. You might use that first $100 to start your own savings account, you might even just frame it and look at it forever! You worked hard, you earned it! That $100 should be cherished!

Ladies. . . . this is how the majority of men think. . . . if you sleep with him on that first date, or second date, or third date, you will be equivalent to him of what that $100 was to you when you found it on the sidewalk. Disposable and easily forgotten. A one time, really fun, and nice shopping spree. . . . .

Please, please, please, wait darlings. . . . .

A while ago, one of my coworkers told me that she read a book by Steve Harvey called, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" She said that Steve Harvey told his readers to wait 90 days before having sex with their new partner and here's the funny part. . . She told her new guy about this 90 day rule and he didn't want to wait. He left! (Personally, I think she should have just kept that rule to herself in her mind, but at least she found out about his true nature quickly!) I was intrigued. I read his book. . . . .

In a nutshell, Steve Harvey says this. . . when you start a new job, you will start getting paid immediately but most employers will not give you health, medical, or dental benefits until the 90 day mark. Your employers want to make sure that you show up to work everyday and that you are some what committed to this job. Because, who wants to go through extra paperwork if someone is just going to leave early, right? I like where he is going with this, but I'd like to take it a step further. . . .

I had been with one of my previous employers for 11 years. (I knowww right!) Every year, my previous employer would pick 3 all star employees (out of a department of 200) and award them with an all expense paid trip to Disney World. And yup, you guessed it! One year, I was chosen. :) I took my sister and it was one of the best vacations we ever had. When I say all expenses paid, I mean. . .airfare, hotel, food, park tickets, luggage check-in costs, Disney World gift cards, shirts, signed and autographed books, and a meet and greet and picture with the C.E.O. of the company. These trips that companies award to their employees are for the best of the best. They are for the employees that not only come in to work on time, every single day, but to the ones that meet all of their grading and performance metrics. These trips are given to the employees that not only excel in their department but help out in other departments as well. They are given to the employees that get kudos and compliments from their customers, their agents, and their co-workers. They look presentable. They act presentable. They have a great attitude. But most of all, they are committed and dedicated to that job. Those employees plan to stay until retirement. They invest in the company's 401k. They are an all star employee!

Ladies, don't just wait 90 days to see if he shows up to work on time.  It's a good start, but I want you to wait for that all-star employee.  Wait for the one who will invest his time, his energy, his everything into you. Wait for the one that plans to retire with you. . . . .

Do you guys remember that song by John Mayer, "Your body is a wonderland?" In case you forgot, or in case I'm older than I think I am, here is a refresher . . . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5EnGwXV_Pg. Nice song right? Take note. The guy is singing it to the girl. I don't think a girl would sing that to a guy! Do you see why I brought the Disney world metaphor in here? Do you see the parallel I'm trying to make here?

Please, please, please, wait. . . . .

In my opinion, that all-star employee that deserves a trip to Disney world, that deserves a trip to your "Wonder Land" is one that will marry you and stay with you despite your caste, despite your skin color, despite how chubby you are, despite how skinny you are, despite your education or your profession, despite what his parents think of you, and despite what his friends think of you.

Instead of asking your friends how long you should date a guy before giving him that free all-expense paid trip, ask them this. . . . in your opinion, who is an all-star guy? Who is worthy of you?

Because darlings. . . . .. you are worth so much more than $100. You are worth so much more than a trip to Disney World. You are worth much, much more.

Bhull Chuk Maaf
Miss Kaur




P.S. Don't forget to e-mail Miss Kaur and Mrs. Kaur your questions about Sikhi, love, relationships, parents, Gurudwara, anything! Americanbornconfusedsikh@gmail.com! We're waiting for you. ;)

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