From Texas to California. . . .
Now, the Sikh Motorcyclist. . . I remember his name. I remember his first and last name because his name was worth remembering. He was the most genuine and sincere guy that I ever spoke to on Shaadi.com. But, I will call him the Sikh Motorcyclist to protect his Identity. He deserves it.
My sister was getting married and I was the unofficial/official wedding planner/coordinator. And I honestly think that had to be one of the most time consuming and stressful times of my life. Alas, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. . . lol
The Sikh Motorcyclist and I starting talking around this time and gosh, he was just a good person. He didn’t wait too long to go from messaging on the website, to text messaging, to calling. . . He timed it all just right. . not too fast not too slow. . . he never had me guessing. . . he never had me thinking he was annoying. . . He never came on too strong. He was just right. ;)
And here is one thing I will always remember. . . during the days of the wedding. . . he gave me space because he knew that I was busy around the clock, but he would text me randomly with encouraging words such as, “Breathe, you got this” or “I’m here to listen if you ever need to vent.” He was a gem.
But I made a grave mistake. . . a very grave mistake that I still sometimes regret to this very day.
In a Sikh wedding or any function or important life event, we do what is called an Akhaand Paath. This is when we read our holy text, from start to finish. It takes 3 days to complete and it was held at the Gurudwara so I was going there 3 days back to back. During those three days, I prayed to God about my situation. I submitted to God. I told God that I was done. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I didn’t know what was good or bad for me. I knew that God only knew what was good and what was right for me. I told God this. . . . . that whomever is meant to be in my life, let it be. . . whether it be a Hindu or a Sikh or any other religion or even my EX or even if I am meant to be single. . . . I told God that I truly wanted to leave it in his hands and trust and believe. It was a powerful moment for me. Those three days were pure and peaceful and soul awakening.
On the last day, there was a final prayer. It was great. I felt rejuvenated. After the service, after cleaning up, I was heading out to leave. I checked my cell phone as it had obviously been on silent the whole time. I came to see something totally unexpected. My EX called me and texted me. We hadn’t spoken in several weeks I believe. The last time he had contacted me, we just fought and it didn’t end well because I could feel and sense his ego and his artificial self. Well, on that day, he called me but I missed his call. He then texted me asking me to call him back. He said something along the lines of . . . "I hope you are doing okay. Please call me back when you get a chance. No rush." Even though it was just a text, I could feel the sincerity and the humbleness. I called him back.
He told me that he had been crying for the past three days. I was shocked. I was shocked that he admitted to crying but I was more shocked that he said 3 days! We hadn’t spoken in weeks. We had no mutual friends. He didn’t know what was taking place in my life. He didn’t know that I was at Gurudwara for the past three days. He then said something that I never ever heard from him in all the years that we had been together. . . . .
He said, “I’m sorry”
The wall of ego and anger and grief and resentment came down. I heard it. I felt it. I believed it. We started talking again very slowly. He called me and texted me every day from morning till night. He then offered a solution that would bring our worlds together and make our relationship work.
He asked me to move to California.
For those of you who don’t know, I am from Texas. Houston TX. He was from California and hence we did long distance for years and it was very, very, very difficult. He had a plan. That I was to move fairly close to him and his family. He would re-introduce me to his family. We would get married and live close to them but not with them so that his family wouldn’t freak out about him leaving but we would still have our space because he knew that his mother had a dominant personality. He told me that myself and his mom got off on the wrong foot and that everything would be mended with time.
Here’s the funny thing. . . he had always mentioned the possibility of me moving to California before, but I always dismissed him because I was a hard core Texan. But Texas was about to change for me. My sister was leaving. There was about to be a huge hole in my city. A lot of my friends had left and/or grown distant. I had a wonderful career with a wonderful company but they had laid me off one year prior. So, when he asked me to move, I jumped at the opportunity. I felt like it was now my destiny. I felt like California was my destiny and that he was also my destiny especially with what he said and when he said it after being at Gurudwara for 3 days.
So, the man hunt turned into a new job hunt. I followed my heart and my instincts to the fullest. I was looking forward to new adventures and a new chapter. I just had to do a few things first.
When the wedding was over, the Sikh Motorcyclist planned to take a trip to Houston to meet me. I think he wanted to come earlier but he was waiting for me to get through the wedding. (Ladies, this is how you know a guy is genuine, sincere, and serious. He will put in that effort. He will come to see you first. He will.) Before he booked any tickets, I had to tell him. I’ll never forget that phone call. He was understanding but he was sad.
Waheguru forgive me.
I then had to tell everyone.(Everyone except my Dad!) One by one. I had to tell them that I was getting back together with my EX and that I was going to leave them. It was a double whammy. Everyone and I mean everyone was happy but scared. They were worried. I had lived in Texas for 15 years. I was moving to a new state for a guy that I wasn’t married to. It was un-traditional. It was absurd. I got questions like . . . .
“But you’re not married yet?”
“But, what about his mother?”
“But, won’t you be alone?”
There was one thing that I told everyone that somewhat consoled them and somewhat consoled even me. I told them that if things didn’t work out, I would be in a state with the greatest Sikh population in America. I got past the previous breakup with flying colors. If it happened again, I knew that I’d have the confidence to do it again. But, I tried not to even think like that. I went in 100% committed to him. Alas. . . . . .
And so, in the words of my new coworkers here in sunny side SoCal. . . “Little Miss Texas” moved to California. . . . . .